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International Coach Federation 9th Annual Conference, Quebec City, Quebec Canada Co-Creating the Next Frontier: Calling All Seasoned Coaches to the Global Seasoned Coaches Cafe Convened By: Matthew Rochte, Karen Kimsey-House MCC, & Shirzad Chamine

Program Description | Summary& Findings | Questions | References | Contact Info | Handouts
Findings Round 1 Question 1&2 | Findings Round 1 Question 3 | Findings Round 2 | Findings Round 3

Summary & Findings: MSword .doc file, Adobe Acrobat .pdf, text/web (below),

Core Questions for Seasoned Coaches to ponder:
(Bold Questions Were the Conversation Starters at the Café in Quebec)

What are we not talking about?
What are we not doing?
*What is the lie?
*What is my lie?
What is the truth that will set us free?
What is possible for me from here?
*What is next for me?
*What is next for us/the community, coaching, ICF?

Reference Materials:
(see resources page)

Contact Information:
Matthew Egan Rochte, WorkingIntentionally™ http://www.workingintentionally.com
612-332-1642

Karen Kimsey-House MCC, The Coaches Training Institute http://www.thecoaches.com

Shirzad Chamine, The Coaches Training Institute http://www.thecoaches.com

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Handouts at the Cafe:
ICFconferencecards.pdf - (1MB) acrobat 4 out 2 sided
cards.pub - MS Publisher source file
tablesheet.pub - MS Publisher source file for Cafe process (not distributed at conference)
tablesheet.pdf - acrobat 1 page for Cafe process (2.3MB) (not distributed at conference)

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Findings: These are summarized comments / findings collected from the table sheets as well as spoken during feedback sessions. The comments have been arranged by general theme. Some may be misplaced from their original context.

The context for the summaries is that people were requested to speak their story or ask a question. You might want to put the word “that” in your mind before each bullet item that isn’t a question.

Round #1 Question 1 & 2 “What is the lie?”

Concern over the question:
§ This is a weird question
§ I feel wrong with the question
§ Is there one?
§ There is no lie
§ The question is a lie
§ That I enjoy this question
§ Is coaching a lie?

Why is this so hard?
§ Why do we need to be anonymous to be truthful? (asked after the end of the round)
§ So we don't have to reveal part of ourselves
§ Does my body lie?

Lie of a Noble Path?
§ Coaching-a profession or a movement?
§ Change the world?
§ Do we know our power as Coaches?
§ Not making progress
§ We’re here for nobler calls
§ We are here for a nobler cause

Lie of Coaching
§ There is plenty of time
§ Coaching is the answer
§ Coaching is better than therapy

Lie of Credentials, Certification, qualities of good coaches
§ We know what good coaching is
§ Knowing doesn't equate to wisdom
§ The most brilliant person I know is a high-school graduate
§ Some people have a natural ability
§ Fullness of our knowing not allowed
§ Spirituality is not embraced
§ 2500 hours does not make a good coach
§ A degree doesn't make a good doctor, lawyer, counselor
§ Do we hide behind our titles?
§ Anyone can do this masterfully
§ That we can be successful without divine guidance
§ Help and people be richer without giving back
§ Our client's know good coaches
§ There is a " right " way to coach
§ Supposed to hold the container in a certain way
§ Who checks the checkers?

Lie of core beliefs of the ICF/coach training – are they true – still?
§ Naturally creative, resourceful, and whole?
§ We have everything we need inside of us
§ All answers are within
§ We don't fix or try to fix
§ No agenda
§ Everyone is coachable
§ It is all " life" coaching
§ "nobody gets to be wrong"
§ There is always a spark for coaching
§ Outcome thinking verses process thinking
§ Coaching has no place for spirituality
§ Coaching will look like this in the future

The lie we tell ourselves
§ The lie within myself
§ That we are special
§ Not willing to look beyond our own self-interest-world be damned!
§ I am special
§ I am responsible
§ That I have it together

Lie of Community
§ Community is the lie
§ Community integrity
§ We are neither diverse nor inclusive
§ Diversity-where?
§ Duplicity
§ Paradox and contradiction
§ We are inclusive
§ Superficial conversations
§ Inclusivity
§ We are an artificially created community we don't really love everyone
§ ICF Pushing rather than supporting
§ Do we share a vision? Do we have to?
§ How can we bring ourselves to another place?
§ Where do we start?

Lie of the solopreneurs
§ How do I be an effective coach when parts of my life suck
§ It's hard being a Trojan horse
§ That it is not lonely
§ We have to live a lie in order to live
§ We are supposed to have it all together
§ Is this my dream?

Lie of the coaching business
§ Creating a coaching business is easily
§ Easy to sustain a practice
§ Alone I can be successful
§ It is easy to begin a coaching practice, especially if not a trainer
§ Playing small
§ It is hard

Lie of transformation
§ Transformation is easily
§ Transformation is possible
§ Do we know we're transforming to?

Lie of the Dark Side
§ What is the dark side of Coaches/coaching?
§ Where am I being called to look inside?
§ Am I really doing any thing?
§ Where am I not looking?

Lie of Relationships with others, other coaches, with ourselves
§ Do we see others as objects or beings?
§ We're different from each other
§ That we are all the same
§ Do I let my client's really seen me
§ Can we be ourselves?
§ How authentic is being authentic?

Miscellaneous
§ No lie = vulnerability
§ Lie = mask
§ Creating space
§ That I have to be careful
§ That there is truth
§ Not called
§ Helps to have a destination
§ There is no paradox
§ There are deadlines
§ Death is bad
§ The goodness is gone
§ Happiness is important
§ If it is not measurable it is of no value
§ The best?
§ Love
§ One answer
§ Evil does not exist
§ Our country alone can be safe
§ The lie is self sufficiency all or any level
§ Powerlessness
§ Loop vs die
§ We can and do wear many hats
§ That this is what is real
§ That we " know " the answers
§ We are the creators rather than creations

Note: We found that this question took people too much into their heads, too theoretical, and abstract. The consensus was that we were ready to have a deeper and more personal dialogue and conversation. Therefore, we extended Round 1 with a third question.

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Round 1 Question 3: “What is my lie?”

The Shadow:
§ Not owning my own personal shadow
§ Not living in to the heart of my darkness

Pain
§ It is ok that I am not in touch with what hurts me
§ I don't give a shit
§ I was not hurt by the challenge to my own reality
§ It is so hopeless. What's the point? I can't make a difference.

A Coach – to be or not to be
§ I am master coach
§ That I want to be a coach
§ I am "seasoned " enough to be a part of this group
§ The Coaches mask

The Practice of Coaching
§ I am always paying full attention
§ I have a beginner's mind
§ That I am an expert in anything. That others reinforced this

The Contradiction:
§ Contrast between what we believe and how we act
§ Believing in balance but often don't live it

The Beliefs
§ I can or should be able to handle everything
§ Need to hold/ know / overcome it all
§ I am not enough
§ I can do anything
§ I'm not powerful
§ If I am quiet I will cease to exist

Our power
§ We are doing all we can
§ Someone else can do and will do it
§ My impact would or should it be better in another sphere then where it is now so powerful an uncomfortable
§ I'm into the right relationship

KEY WALK AWAY POINTS
We would never let clients lie the way we lie
Our real work is ourselves

Additional Questions:
§ How can I be a peacemaker and still have tinges of anger?
§ Can I do this? What is my commitment level?
§ What assumptions or judgments do I I have?

About lies
§ Absorbed in the lie
§ That I have only one lie
§ That I know what is the lie
§ My lie is true to me
§ No lie at the moment
§ Is it a lie? Or the gremlin?

Miscellaneous
§ My impact would or should be most powerful right where it is
§ I am not good enough
§ It is wonderful to have a beginner's mind
§ That is all about the space
§ That I can be vulnerable and not hurt
§ I have to protect myself
§ It's too painful to do that to myself
§ The struggle
§ It sucks to get there
§ Being out there
§ Shame, tears
§ My relations
§ My relationships

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Round #2 “What is next for me?”
Context – share your story or ask a question

Perspective
§ No judgment
§ Awareness
§ Hold conflict and paradox

Engagement
§ Full engagement
§ Throw myself in
§ Jumping in with both feet
§ Move forward - Go!
§ Bigger arena
§ Social responsibility for all
§ A life of contribution

Permission
§ Get out of the closet
§ Step into a me-sized skin
§ Permission to not be perfect
§ Own of my darkness
§ Working on being in enoughness
§ Saying no to distractions that take me off my path

Love
§ Self love
§ Give and receive love
§ Global shift in how love is showing upon
§ Acceptance, truth, and hope
§ Staying rooted in myself
§ Love-health
§ Love-acceptance
§ Love-compassion-career

Community of Coaches
§ Claim our power as a community
§ All connected
§ Structure to help the next generation
§ Spreading the spark
§ Advancing the seasoning
§ Threading the connection

My practice
§ Stop calling myself a coach
§ Stopping phone coaching-there are more ways to coach
§ Hire a VA

Future of Coaching
§ To weave, to create something new out of all the knowledge I have including coaching
§ Practice of coaching systems not individuals
§ Spiritual work
§ Inside to the outside
§ Healing-putting it out there

BEing & What is
§ Acceptance of what is
§ look at how to find faith that the universe will support me
§ Being or doing
§ Keep cool
§ Be that thing
§ Instead of observing-coaching them to be that thing
1. I miss myself

Peace & Grounding
§ Inner peace
§ Comeback to my body-find a grounded place
§ Outside and inside are one
§ Intuition
§ Stop taking it so seriously/just unsure
§ Put down your weapons. Be yourself. Enjoy the way you are.

Miscellaneous
§ Keeping passion alive
§ Explore the full extent of masculine/feminine/third gender
§ Book or brand
§ Vacation
§ World and selfs

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Round #3 “What is next for the community, coaching, ICF, etc.”
ICF
1. International
§ Truly international
§ Translations please-honor all languages
§ Reach out to all people in the world
2. Humility
3. Inclusive
§ Open up to other schools of though about coaching
§ discussions
§ certification
4. Diversity
§ Create diversity
§ Expand and embrace diversity both inside and out
5. Differences
§ Notice
§ Accept
§ Celebrate
6. End Scarcity Mentality (within ICF leadership)
§ Stop fighting for space
§ Aspired to shared abundance
7. ICF should take a break to be fresh

Re-Creating Community
1. Creating community-real community
2. What is the essence of community?
§ Sharing without an agenda;
§ Altruistic and accepting
§ Being open, receptive
§ Living from been not just during the next thing
3. Collegiality
4. Engage Conversation
5. Stop stepping over shit
6. Challenge real identity
7. Direction
§ Organize ourselves so that we can be who we are
§ Coaching must be bigger than just Coaches

Our Roles
1. Engagement level of us as individuals and as professionals
2. Bring the conversation to the streets

Where should we take coaching
1. Spirituality as top priority
2. Must be able to contribute to the evolution of consciousness
3. Coaching the infrastructure
4. Coach refugees
5. NGOs (non governmental organizations)
6. Outreach
7. Coaching systems

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"The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep." ~ Rumi